i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I just threw up on my dentist
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Randomize