We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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