you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
