dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
You made out with two different species that night
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
