Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
