My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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