it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
