Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
