I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Randomize
