dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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