Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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