Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
