And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
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