people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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