Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
