Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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