Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
