You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Randomize
