I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Randomize
