so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Found your dick twin last night
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
