I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
