Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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