he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
