And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
