I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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