I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
PANTIES FOUND
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