All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
