Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
