Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
we have officially lost it.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Randomize
