How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
