Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize
