just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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