im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
