I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
