Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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