Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
