Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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