You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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