im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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