I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
