So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
