I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
