My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I am naked and annoyed.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize