nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
so let's talk penis.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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