I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize