You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
