Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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