Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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