shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
We are two peas in an std pod
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
