She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
How external is "for external use only"?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize