We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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