I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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