This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
