turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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