How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Vodka?
Forever.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
