and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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