come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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